Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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