Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.

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  (302): I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI. http://tfl.nu/3vpl
  Replies (42) Good night (961) Bad night (7333)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Hookers taste better with whip cream

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Fair enough

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  (417): Hookers taste better with whip cream (816): Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too (417): Fair enough http://tfl.nu/svnz
  Replies (45) Good night (4069) Bad night (1329)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know

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  (936): He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know http://tfl.nu/tf12
  Replies (15) Good night (7311) Bad night (1286)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  high in an attic. pig roast in 10.

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  (703): high in an attic. pig roast in 10. http://tfl.nu/5v0b
  Replies (11) Good night (3475) Bad night (1007)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has

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  (519): She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has http://tfl.nu/fgce
  Replies (14) Good night (3603) Bad night (842)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.

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  (732): He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year. http://tfl.nu/lez5
  Replies (27) Good night (3180) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.

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  (419): I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation. http://tfl.nu/3fs0
  Replies (3) Good night (1736) Bad night (736)
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  (213): View more from California

  My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."

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  (213): My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie." http://tfl.nu/jevy
  Replies (38) Good night (3739) Bad night (795)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.

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  (804): I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit. http://tfl.nu/xryz
  Replies (5) Good night (1534) Bad night (581)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?

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  (321): Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding? http://tfl.nu/i6fm
  Replies (15) Good night (1325) Bad night (984)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."

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  (303): I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions." http://tfl.nu/0cl8
  Replies (3) Good night (857) Bad night (483)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.

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  (989): You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone. http://tfl.nu/tu9y
  Replies (0) Good night (449) Bad night (295)
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  (555): View more from

  Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one

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  (555): Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one http://tfl.nu/yjqa
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.

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  (949): Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook. http://tfl.nu/9gq2
  Replies (2) Good night (653) Bad night (305)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?

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  (210): Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay? http://tfl.nu/lfht
  Replies (5) Good night (844) Bad night (249)

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