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She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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