I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
