are you still at the devil's house?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.