No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess