If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
