i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
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Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is