Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag

(817): View more from Texas

could you get any more awkward?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.

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(703): View more from Virginia

The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.

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(407): View more from Florida

My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.

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