your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
