he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
