Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
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I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
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You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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