who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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