I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
