His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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