# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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