one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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