I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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