i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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