her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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