What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
