I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
