went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
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We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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