You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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