I want to make a zoo with you.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
