Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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