I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
