I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
