sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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