Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize