You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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