Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
