Will you blow on my dice?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
