i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
