How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
