just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
