GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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