GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know