Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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