We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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