Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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