Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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