Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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