STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
