he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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