My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
