bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i will never coherently bang her
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
