I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
