I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
