I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
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I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
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She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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