But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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