Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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