he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize