Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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