Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
