On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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