I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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