If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
