Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
