He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
