I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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