My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
