Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
