when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
