Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
