2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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