All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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