I'm really into asian looking animals
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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