it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
